How to build confidence in toddlersUplifting our children, not putting them downAs a long time educator, I have learned the power of the tongue. Words do hurt, The phrase, "sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me" is a flat out lie. Words have the the power to inspire and the power to kill. As adults, it is important we uplift our children, not put them down. Phrases such as, "you don't know anything," are not okay to say to a child. A child does know things, they have questions and they reinforcement that they are smart, the are loved, and they are beautiful. When a young child looks in the mirror, they should be proud of who they are. They should not only see the negative. No, a child isn't perfect. However, neither are you as an adult. To put it candidly, adults do dumb stuff.
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Moving toys out of the family room toPutting toys away in kids' rooms
When I was pregnant with my daughter, my son was a year old. He was unable to bring toys downstairs from his bedroom on his own. So, I added a shelving unit to my baby shower registry to store books and toys. It gave things a home downstairs.
the toys kept coming
It seemed no matter how much I clean the shelf, placed more toys in their rooms, it was never neat. As soon as I donated a batch, it was another birthday, holiday or a friend was dropping off things their kids had outgrown. Eventually, I realized I was cleaning a losing battle. During the week, the kids picked up their toys and placed them on the shelf. They would be lopsided, out of place (according to how I wanted them), and generally messy. However, they were off the floor. Every now and then I would sort them, "just so" to make me feel good about life. Truthfully, I don't think my husband or kids realized I cleaned it. Gradually, I started moving toys and books to their rooms. Things would be donated, broken toys thrown away.
Parenting peacefully(ish)
This weekend was amazing, I got to clean the house. Do the dishes, clean bathrooms, all that fun stuff. Outside of the regular mom fun, I was able to spend some time in the backyard with my kids. I also learned the power of the parenting phrase, "what is the harm?"
Toddlers are never happy
After dragging the bounce house out, they decided it was too hot and didn't want to bounce more than 10 mins. So, they moved on to the playhouse. My daughter brought out their grill and begin to cook. My son decided he wanted to play with other toys. He went in the house for a moment, then returned. After a little bit, I see my kids dragging their chairs out to the middle of the yard. As they began to situate their chairs as only toddlers can, I gave them a beach umbrella so they could have a little shade. In true toddler fashion, they could not get the chairs how they wanted them.
Why do they need more chairs?
My son said, "I need to go inside. I want the green chairs." Fine, no big deal. "Go ahead," I said. Now, I could have approached this request differently: Why do they need more chairs when they had chairs? "You have chairs, no." "No, you aren't going inside again. Stay out here and play." "If you go in you stay in." Instead, I let him be. At the end of the day, what was the harm of letting him go inside for the chairs he wanted? There was no harm in saying, "okay, go ahead."
He went in and came out with two green chairs. Little did I know, this child and his sister had a plan. They proceeded to take the 4 chairs, to create lounge seats! I wish I could take credit for this plan, but I can't. It was the cutest thing I'd seen from them. My two toddlers figured out how to relax in the backyard after a long afternoon of playing.
They may have sat there for 15 mins, but it was a moment I won't forget. Never underestimate toddlers who are allowed to be kids. It also has me looking for kid size lounge chairs. "What is the harm?" The only harm was preventing kids from being kids, trying something new, and missing out on this toddler sibling moment. |
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November 2023
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